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Chuck has every right to feel as he does and I applaud him for it and for the compromises he has tried. And yes, the lie by omission itself regarding having three custodial kids would be worse than the kids themselves in his case. While I know I am contradicting myself because I currently am seeing a non-custodial father of one, some of us prefer to be childfree. Once one is in their 40s try finding someone who is not divorced with kids; believe me I tried and that did make me pretty “undateable.” (If they’re over 40 and have never been married, there’s a reason! But I digress.)

Have you ever been a step-parent? I have, 25 years ago, and even though I went into it with my eyes open (as much as they can be when one is 22 and in love) three step-children taking 75% of your husband’s modest salary is more to deal with than it it looks like on paper. Every vacation is either visiting the kids or going somewhere kid-centric so kiss romantic weekends/vacations goodbye (at least in the real world; NYC seems to have its own rules.)

Plus some of us are honest with ourselves that we just don’t like kids all that much (my standard reply is “I don’t see the upside”) and thankfully never succumbed to the intense social pressure to breed just because one is “supposed to.” I have yet to meet my BF’s young son because I don’t feel one should do that too early in a relationship. He sees him weekly on Sundays and that is fine with me as I value my “alone” time anyway. But at least I was not blind-sided as Chuck was.

Now, as for dating a custodial parent? Not just “no” but H* NO.

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